7 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Having A Baby

 

T H E  L O W - D O W N (9)

If someone had told me the truth would I have believed them?

Probably not. The truth is a bit out there after all!

I was recently talking to a friend who doesn’t have children, she was asking a lot of questions and clearly had a few ideas of her own on motherhood. Maybe she’s considering it, maybe she was just curious about this alternate universe her friend resides in. Either way it got me thinking about what I have learnt and what I wish I had known before having a baby.

  • Babies don’t stay babies very long. After years of dreaming, nine months of pregnancy and then untold weeks in the ‘baby bubble’ I suddenly realised my baby wasn’t really a baby any more! They grow so fast. With my youngest daughter it seemed to happen even quicker. All of a sudden they are out of your arms and you’re having a two-way conversation.  We worry over the ‘baby’ stages, growth charts and feeding choices, we buy the ‘baby’ equipment, fretting over front or rear facing pushchairs and which is the best sling. The truth is it all matters far less than you think. My babies are now 7 and 2, I’m left seriously wondering WTF happened!!
  • Pregnancy is so undignified. People are going to expect to get in your pants without even saying please (much less buying you a drink). Your husband may wonder why he went to so much effort when he realises there is now an open door policy! There are those who sail through but it is more likely you will suffer the indignities. God help you if you get piles, someone (as in the Dr) will probably have to have a look.
  • Not as many people care how you feed/dress/birth your baby as you think. If we were to believe the media all of the time we’d be forgiven to think there was some kind of maternity police out there issuing fines for mummy misdemeanour’s.  The truth is, mums in the trenches of motherhood are generally in it together. Yes there are the ‘mean girls’ but I tend to think that’s just how they are about everything so try not to take it personally. Raising children is difficult, for every victory you have in one area you will no doubt feel a total failure in another.
  • Those pretty baby dresses are a total waste of money. On finding out I was having my eldest daughter I started to hanker after those beautiful miniature baby dresses and little skirt/top outfits. I’m not saying you shouldn’t indulge but lets be real for a moment. Once baby arrives you need a ton of easily washed baby gros and various layers depending on the season, that’s kind of it to begin with. It’s not being boring it’s just practical (honestly not the same thing!!). I realised this after putting said baby daughter in a beautiful size 0-3 month dress she had been given; the frills ended up over her head, she had a mouth-full of netting and was impossible to hold or feed! We did get one cute photo before she completed her meltdown, so perhaps that is the moral – be bought these dresses as gifts rather than waste your own money!
  • Babies fart. Loudly. This may seem obvious to some but as I had spent next to no time with babies before I had my own this blew my mind. Left alone in my curtained cubicle mere hours after my eldest daughter was born by c-section; I was staring at her in wonder (as you do, a lot) when all of a sudden she did the loudest fart I have ever heard. I resisted the urge to call out to the full ward that ‘it wasn’t me!’. She woke herself up, started crying – I couldn’t move as I was attached to the bed by a catheter in my nether regions. I had to press the emergency call button over a fart.
  • You will live in a constant state of worry. I once read that on becoming a parent it is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body, I really think that sums it up. It begins with pregnancy, the worry over eating and doing all the right things. Then they are born and you take one look into their innocent eyes and you realise (with a certainty bordering on insanity) that it is your job to keep them safe forever. There begins years of worrying about the temperature of the nursery, choking hazards, sickness and then the mean kids at school. Where does it all end, I’m not really sure. Does my mum still feel that burning panic over my welfare? Probably not, but then she knows I’m tucked up in bed by 9pm every night. I should be more worried what they are getting up to these days! Someone recently asked how I’ll cope if my girls want to go off backpacking…I said we’ll have a great time!!! They’re going to love me.
  • You will love uncontrollably and even on the worst days it will still be the best thing you ever did. I know, crazy right. Who would believe it.

What do you wish you had known before having a baby?

Xx

Mums' Days

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Super Busy Mum

 

40 Comments on 7 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Having A Baby

  1. mummy@becomingastayathomemum.com'
    Caroline (Becoming a SAHM)
    26th November 2014 at 5:38 pm (3 years ago)

    Great post, honestly having a baby changes your world doesn’t it? No matter how much you think you’re prepared for it, you’re really not! Xx #mmwbh

    Reply
    • Claire
      26th November 2014 at 7:19 pm (3 years ago)

      Quite agree, it really is a leap of faith isn’t it!
      Thanks for reading!
      Xx

      Reply
  2. debbie@debsrandomwritings.com'
    Debbie
    26th November 2014 at 7:39 pm (3 years ago)

    Hi Claire, great post as I am sure there are always things that we wish we had known before having babies…Like the fact they grow too fast to be spending money on wardrobes of cute clothes.

    When I had our two, I wish I had known that there just wouldn’t be enough hours in the day to get everything done. Nothing has changed in that respect 15 years later!…Oh and I also wish someone had been honest with me on how rubbish reusable nappies are. I bought a whole load of nicely shaped terry cloth nappies, thinking I was saving money in the long run, but Oh No! they were horrible things and it didn’t take long for me to realise how cruel it was to use terry nappies (they always seemed wet), so I ended up buying disposable nappies and using the terry ones as dusters. The extra washing was no joke either.!

    Popped over from #MMWBH

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th November 2014 at 7:29 am (3 years ago)

      Very true about the reusable nappies! I was given some so at least it wasn’t a huge cost – I had grand ideas about being eco friendly, but found it a total nightmare too!
      Not enough hours in the day, I certainly know that one!
      Thanks for reading!
      Xx

      Reply
  3. laurabee001@gmail.com'
    Laura Evelyn Bee
    26th November 2014 at 10:11 pm (3 years ago)

    Aww great post and I particularly liked the fart story!!! he,he!
    Hmmm, I’m not sure what I would want to know before having a baby. I think alot of the things you have to experience for yourself. I can remember thinking when I was pregnant that having a newborn wouldn’t be too hard (I had NO idea!) x
    #MMWBH

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th November 2014 at 7:35 am (3 years ago)

      So true you have to experience it for yourself – I think it’s impossible to comprehend the journey beforehand!
      I try to not give to much ‘advice’ to pregnant friends, everyone is different after all. I did recently suggest to one newly pregnant friend that she go on holiday with her husband before baby comes along, somewhere warm and to sit (and appreciate) her sunlounger, as she won’t get near one for at least the next 5 years!!
      Thanks for commenting!
      Xx

      Reply
  4. ameliajoyjoy@googlemail.com'
    Claire's Mum
    26th November 2014 at 10:48 pm (3 years ago)

    Yes Claire, even though she knows you are in bed by nine p.m. most nights, one never stops worrying about ones children, however mature and adult they have become!!!!
    Loving your blog, now I am so far away it gives me a deeper insight into your thoughts, I am just so proud of the person you are today, a wonderful loving mother, daughter and wife. Keep on writing, we are still awaiting that first novel, your father is still hoping for that 50 foot catamaran!! xx

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th November 2014 at 7:38 am (3 years ago)

      I thought you’d have something to say about that one!
      Thank you, though Dad may have to wait a little longer at the speed I’m going – your Granddaughters are keeping me very busy at the moment!
      XXX

      Reply
  5. toinfinityandivf@hotmail.com'
    ToInfinityAndIVF
    27th November 2014 at 9:24 am (3 years ago)

    Great post and the labour bit really made me chuckle. With my Z i think it was like a train station and by, what felt like, the 15th check I really was not bothered one bit! Thankfully I think that experience has helped a bit with ALLL the millions of checks in IVF :)

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th November 2014 at 3:21 pm (3 years ago)

      It is crazy how our inhibitions just go out of the window! Having given birth naturally and had c-sections I find it quite amusing how many people have seen me from the waist down – at one point during my c-sections I was chatting to a room full of people while goodness knows what was on display on the otherside of the screen!
      I read you post ‘the journey of the embryos’, best of luck, I hope all is well.
      Xx

      Reply
  6. louise@bodhibabes.com'
    Louise George
    27th November 2014 at 12:48 pm (3 years ago)

    Lovely, honest post- thank you.
    I’m not a mother yet and think we should all discuss more, so it’s not such a scary unknown world.
    x Louise

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th November 2014 at 3:25 pm (3 years ago)

      You’re absolutely right that people should be more honest. Though if anyone had told me that I really wouldn’t mind changing nappies I would have thought they were nuts!
      It is an unknown, scary world (messy too) but totally worth it!
      Thanks for reading!
      Xx

      Reply
  7. dave@thedadventurer.com'
    The DADventurer (Dave)
    27th November 2014 at 1:25 pm (3 years ago)

    Great post. I too never realised babies fart so much or so loudly. Some of Baby L’s are louder than mine and that’s saying something! :)

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th November 2014 at 3:27 pm (3 years ago)

      I think my husband it still constantly shocked that his ‘little princesses’ fart far louder than him! I’m wondering if/when that will stop or if it’s just going to be their ‘thing’!!
      Thanks for reading x

      Reply
    • Claire
      28th November 2014 at 2:49 pm (3 years ago)

      Thanks for reading! I checked your post out too, lovely ideas – If we all put them together we’d have a book, we could call it The (MESSY) Truth!!
      I think I would have gone a bit dippy with boy’s clothes too, I love all the dinosaur jumpers and mini suits!! At least there’s no choking on frills!
      Xx

      Reply
  8. mumturnedmom@gmail.com'
    Sara (@mumturnedmom)
    28th November 2014 at 3:04 am (3 years ago)

    Brilliant, all so true! Especially that the baby stage goes so fast x

    Reply
    • Claire
      28th November 2014 at 2:51 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you! I know, scary isn’t it – suddenly you turn around and your ‘baby’ is wearing a school uniform and you wonder what happened!!
      Thanks for reading!
      Xx

      Reply
  9. Seychellesmama@gmail.com'
    Seychellesmama
    28th November 2014 at 4:37 pm (3 years ago)

    What a lovely post!! The fancy outfits one is so so true!!
    The point on farting has made me laugh a lot, oh my god they can make an unholy noise! Burping too, Arthur always has burped like a full on grown man it’s unbelievable!!!!

    Reply
    • Claire
      28th November 2014 at 4:44 pm (3 years ago)

      It really is isn’t it – such impressive noises from such tiny bodies, and of course they think it’s hilarious from a very young age!!
      Xx

      Reply
  10. tinyfootsteps@outlook.com'
    Jenna
    28th November 2014 at 11:00 pm (3 years ago)

    Heh, I love this. I totally agree with them not staying little babies for long. It scares me how quickly the time is going!!!

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

    Reply
    • Claire
      29th November 2014 at 1:11 pm (3 years ago)

      I can’t believe how much I worried about coping with a ‘newborn’ as looking back that stage seemed to last 5 mins! It is scary, you spend 9 months wishing the time away and now I just want it to slow down!
      Xx

      Reply
  11. willockem@googlemail.com'
    Eleanor (TheBristolParent)
    29th November 2014 at 8:57 am (3 years ago)

    What I wish I’d known, on the point about cute outfits, is that there’s no point waiting for a good time to wear them, just put them on and don’t save them for best! Unless it’s for nursery, and then everything you send them in will get utterly wrecked in one day. Which in itself is pretty amazing – imagine if it was the same for us! #thelist

    Reply
    • Claire
      29th November 2014 at 1:13 pm (3 years ago)

      Now imagine how much worse the washing pile would be if that were true!!
      You’re so right about not saving outfits for best – maybe it’s just my pathetic social calendar but if I saved everything for best it would literally never get worn!!
      Thanks for reading. Xx

      Reply
  12. ghostwritermummy@hotmail.co.uk'
    ghostwritermummy
    29th November 2014 at 9:27 am (3 years ago)

    I wish I’d known it would all go so quickly. And that as soon as baby hit 6 months I would want another. And though I always said I wanted 4, I wish I’d known that when I actually got 4 I wasn’t ready to stop having more. I wish I’d known how wonderful being a mum was going to be so that I’d worry less about silly things x x x

    Reply
    • Claire
      29th November 2014 at 1:19 pm (3 years ago)

      I can understand that. I only ever wanted one child but after losing my first and going on to have two girls I find myself scaring my husband recently with my obvious broodiness!
      It just goes to show that motherhood is never quite what we expect – it’s a lot more wonderful (and difficult) than I expected!
      Xx

      Reply
  13. Mum@honestmum.com'
    Honest mum
    29th November 2014 at 6:18 pm (3 years ago)

    Fab post honey, so much is great in hindsight, I wish I’d worried less when pregnant but it’s so hard and my first pregnancy was a tough one. Love this! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

    Reply
    • Claire
      29th November 2014 at 7:14 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you!
      Hindsight really is 20/20 as they say. I’m not sure I would have been able to process any advice pre pregnancy, I’m not sure I would have believed half of it. Worrying seems to be a common theme and I do wonder when it stops!!
      Thanks for reading. Xx

      Reply
  14. daisy@daisyrooandtwo.com'
    Daisy
    29th November 2014 at 9:48 pm (3 years ago)

    Yes to ALL of these!!!! Especially the baby dresses! ESPECIALLY!!! Haha!

    Reply
    • Claire
      1st December 2014 at 1:55 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you! Xx

      Reply
  15. mumsdays@gmail.com'
    Hannah Mums' Days
    4th December 2014 at 10:53 pm (3 years ago)

    OMG the open door police had me creased! You are one funny lady, each point had me chuckling away. I sincerely hope your mum isn’t still worrying about you ;)

    Brilliant! thanks for linking up to #Thelist xxx

    Reply
    • Claire
      5th December 2014 at 1:52 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you!
      My mum says she still worries but I’m the one tucked up in bed before 9pm while they’re living it up in the sun, I should probably be the worried one!!
      Thanks for featuring my post, glad you liked it!
      Xx

      Reply
  16. jess@mummyscrochetworld.com'
    mummyscrochetworld
    5th December 2014 at 12:26 pm (3 years ago)

    All so true, especially the baby dress part! Putting on something pretty usually brings on sick or leaky poop nappy! Stick to the baby gros :-) #thelist

    Reply
    • Claire
      5th December 2014 at 1:55 pm (3 years ago)

      Ooh, lets not start thinking about the damage all those leaky nappies have done to pretty outfits!!
      Thanks for reading!
      Xx

      Reply
  17. Cornishcath@hotmail.com'
    Catherine
    5th December 2014 at 2:39 pm (3 years ago)

    How about how blooming hard it is to establish breast feeding?! I really struggled with my first lb. I thought he would know what to do a little more as it’s so ‘natural’, I lost count of how many nurses helped him to latch on aka grab my boobs but hey it worked in the end ;)

    Reply
    • Claire
      5th December 2014 at 2:51 pm (3 years ago)

      Yes!!
      I remember laying in bed, couldn’t move after the c-section with my boobs out and everyone trying to ‘help’, very surreal and not quite how I pictured it all going. At least by that point we’ve lost all sense of shyness/dignity so it’s all good!
      Thanks for reading Xx

      Reply
  18. jenny@letstalkmommy.com'
    Jenny
    26th December 2014 at 12:00 pm (3 years ago)

    Your list is fantastic and so true. I would have never believed someone if they told me all about the birds and the bees. I do think parenting is one of those you just have to experience yourself to get it all! Thanks for linking up some fab posts for 2014! Happy Holidays! #sharewithme

    Reply
    • Claire
      27th December 2014 at 3:46 pm (3 years ago)

      I don’t think I would have believed half of it either! I thought I was prepared but realised very quickly that I had no clue!!
      Xx

      Reply
  19. ghostwritermummy@hotmail.co.uk'
    ghostwritermummy
    3rd January 2015 at 1:40 pm (3 years ago)

    Brilliant post. I wish I’d know that being a mother would enable me to feel such intense emotions every single day. Exhaustion, fear, elation, love, worry, anxiety… haha kids make you alive, don’t they? x x x

    Reply
    • Claire
      5th January 2015 at 4:16 pm (3 years ago)

      And that those emotions can all flash through in the space of 5 minutes!! Glad you liked the post! Xx

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>